Really bad grammar, I know. Let's ignore it and move on.
I took the 2 home today because the 5 wasn't running between 149 and E180 (thanks, MTA. Love you, too), so I had to transfer at E180 for the 5. As I was waiting there, I was struck with a sense of sadness-- of leaving.
It's almost the beginning of December, but I count the weeks by Shabbatot-- this Shabbos I'm going to be here, next Shabbos I'm going to be there, the Shabbos after that...etc. And starting next Shabbos I'm going to be home until I leave for Israel.
This coming Shabbos is Lissa's bday; the Shabbos after that Andrea and Yoni (and Squishy) are coming, the week after that is the second Shabbos Chanukah and my parents want me home, and the Shabbos after that is my last Shabbos at home before I make aliyah.
I was at E180 and was sad...because I was leaving. Of course I'm going to be at E180 and on the subways over the next four weeks, and I'm sure that the 5 will not be running on weekends between 149 and E180, because this IS the MTA we are talking about/dealing with. But I am definitely going to miss the subway.
Told you this would hit me as it was getting closer. Welcome to my aliyah.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thanksgiving
I spent a good part of my Thanksgiving Day putting aside stuff to take to Israel (see previous post). The evening before I had a Tweenties Thanksgiving with about 10 people which was so nice.
Note to self: Pack the dishes with soft stuff too, like towels and clothes...
Note to self 2: Do you REALLY need all those shoes?
This past Shabbos was my last Shabbos in the Heights before I make aliyah. Kind of weird. I'll be back here, but not for Shabbos.
It's starting to come down to the "lasts"-- even though it's still a month away, it's starting to get into "last this," "last that" and I'm feeling it. I'm getting into "Will I need this for the next month?" and "What do I need until the summer?"
It's very weird-- packing up my life, 24 years of it. Technically-- but really, I've been cleaning out stuff every so often; most of my high school and college stuff I've gotten rid of. My OT stuff I've cleared out as well. Books...goodness, I don't even want to think about those...I have so many...I don't know how I'm going to decide what to take and what to leave here (at least until I ship stuff). And kitchen stuff! I cook! I bake! Am I going to be able to do this in ulpan?
I'm one of those people who had a blender (small), microwave, sandwich maker, toaster oven, cooking utensils, and service for 4 (dairy, meat, pareve) in her dorm. I am definitely going to be getting stuff when I move into Beit Canada. I have to remember to pack that stuff, too...
I have 5 suitcases:
1. Spring and summer clothes and shoes --> A & Y
2. Fall and winter clothes and shoes --> Me
3. Night stand (yes, "night stand"...it's coming now if it fits in the suitcase), clothing overflow --> Me
4. Dishes (box maybe) and random stuff--> A & Y
5. Books (box probably), random stuff, and non-crucial papers--> Me
Note to self: Pack the dishes with soft stuff too, like towels and clothes...
Note to self 2: Do you REALLY need all those shoes?
Someone remind me to make a packing list of what I'm putting in each suitcase because I forgot to do that to the one I left by Rita and Dov last winter.
Carry-On:
Bean and charger
American and Israeli cell phones and chargers, USB cable
Papers (originals-- NBN says bring original birth certificates, passports, diplomas, transcripts, as well as copies)
Clothes for the wedding (including shoes)
Extra change of clothes (including socks and underwear)
Toiletries: make-up, lenses, deodorant, mousse
Book or 2
Food. Yes, they feed you-- I'm bringing some of my mother's food.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
...
34 days including today.
It's Thanksgiving. What will my next Thanksgiving be like? Hell, what will my New Year's be like?
When we were little, my sisters and I used to go to sleep on New Year's eve and then my parents would wake us up to watch the ball drop. We would all be piled in their bed and we'd count down to watch the ball drop. We haven't done that in a while, but...this New Year's is going to be...well...different.
Past few years it's been a Tweenties-ish New Year's, and the past 2 years the tradition has been a gingerbread house/village-- with guard dragons. This year we might have a gingerbread village-- maybe not-- but um...I don't know when we'd do it.
Usually we would make it and then eat it New Year's. I don't know this year...Anyone volunteer their apt. for gingerbread house making?
It's Thanksgiving. What will my next Thanksgiving be like? Hell, what will my New Year's be like?
When we were little, my sisters and I used to go to sleep on New Year's eve and then my parents would wake us up to watch the ball drop. We would all be piled in their bed and we'd count down to watch the ball drop. We haven't done that in a while, but...this New Year's is going to be...well...different.
Past few years it's been a Tweenties-ish New Year's, and the past 2 years the tradition has been a gingerbread house/village-- with guard dragons. This year we might have a gingerbread village-- maybe not-- but um...I don't know when we'd do it.
Usually we would make it and then eat it New Year's. I don't know this year...Anyone volunteer their apt. for gingerbread house making?
Friday, November 20, 2009
Leaving, part II
I emailed my letter of resignation to my supervisor and...mmmm...not feeling it.
I went in to see the assistant principal at one of my schools and he said to me, "I'm sad." I said, "Me too." He said, "You know, we got someone good in and you're leaving." I know, Dr. T, I know...
It's a great compliment-- I really feel like I'm actually valued in the school. It is a great thing to actually feel like you're a part of the school; in my previous school, the only reason I spoke to the AP or principal was to get something signed or if there was a problem. I have REAL CONVERSATIONS with the AP and principal at this school. I have been at this school for 3 months and I feel like a part of a family-- the atmosphere there is just...positive and really working for the kids. Not that everything is rosy and perfect-- there are problems and annoyances, but there is still a feeling of...well...family. Which is nice. And now that I know that feeling, it's going to be hard to work somewhere without it because I know how good it can be. But that's not what this blog is for.
I don't want to leave. I feel like I'm leaving in the middle, and...I know there's never going to be GOOD time to leave, not while there's so much here for me. But I also know that if I don't leave I'll always be wondering and wanting and regretting. I can come back and work as a contract therapist a year later, even if I don't get a waiver which would allow me to "appear before the DOE" less than one year after leaving. But I really hope I get the waiver. Will I necessarily get the same school? No. But one of the things about me is that wherever I am, I do my best. Look, I knew I was leaving. But I still am doing everything I need to, everything I would do if I was staying in the school for 25 years.
No matter what I do, I'm not going to be completely satisfied. There is always going to be some amount of "I wish I was there."
darn it.
I went in to see the assistant principal at one of my schools and he said to me, "I'm sad." I said, "Me too." He said, "You know, we got someone good in and you're leaving." I know, Dr. T, I know...
It's a great compliment-- I really feel like I'm actually valued in the school. It is a great thing to actually feel like you're a part of the school; in my previous school, the only reason I spoke to the AP or principal was to get something signed or if there was a problem. I have REAL CONVERSATIONS with the AP and principal at this school. I have been at this school for 3 months and I feel like a part of a family-- the atmosphere there is just...positive and really working for the kids. Not that everything is rosy and perfect-- there are problems and annoyances, but there is still a feeling of...well...family. Which is nice. And now that I know that feeling, it's going to be hard to work somewhere without it because I know how good it can be. But that's not what this blog is for.
I don't want to leave. I feel like I'm leaving in the middle, and...I know there's never going to be GOOD time to leave, not while there's so much here for me. But I also know that if I don't leave I'll always be wondering and wanting and regretting. I can come back and work as a contract therapist a year later, even if I don't get a waiver which would allow me to "appear before the DOE" less than one year after leaving. But I really hope I get the waiver. Will I necessarily get the same school? No. But one of the things about me is that wherever I am, I do my best. Look, I knew I was leaving. But I still am doing everything I need to, everything I would do if I was staying in the school for 25 years.
No matter what I do, I'm not going to be completely satisfied. There is always going to be some amount of "I wish I was there."
darn it.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Two down, two to go
Told the principal and assistant principal about leaving at the beginning of January. The principal was so excited for me that I'm going to be going to Israel, the AP less enthusiastic. But...I did it. Now on to my other school...Friday. I won't be there until then because I have a course tomorrow and Wednesday.
Monday, November 16, 2009
6 weeks and 2 days
um...right? I think it's starting to hit me and I don't know how I feel about it.
The November Aliyah Coffee Group meeting went VERY well, if I do say so myself. There were 8 people, which was really nice. Missed Dara and Vered, but it was a good meeting. I think everyone there was new besides me. A lot of info exchanged, resources listed to post. I think we should make a guide to aliyah. There are a lot, but this would be more of a Single's Guide to Aliyah: Here's What We Learned When We Made Aliyah.
What else? I don't know.
The November Aliyah Coffee Group meeting went VERY well, if I do say so myself. There were 8 people, which was really nice. Missed Dara and Vered, but it was a good meeting. I think everyone there was new besides me. A lot of info exchanged, resources listed to post. I think we should make a guide to aliyah. There are a lot, but this would be more of a Single's Guide to Aliyah: Here's What We Learned When We Made Aliyah.
What else? I don't know.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
59 days
When you put it like that, it doesn't seem so long.
My mom called the people who deal with the headstones about my grandfather's headstone for the unveiling. She thought it would take about a month...and it'll take 3-4 months. This sucks. I'll be missing my grandfather's unveiling. When I said this to my mother she answered me, "I wasn't at my grandmother's funeral."
Me: Why?
Mom: I was going to Israel and Rabbi Bulka said I should go.
Me: Oh. But still...
Mom: That was a funeral. There's no halacha for an unveiling.
I know, but still...out of my sisters, I think I was the closest to my mom's parents. I think I'm the closest to my father's parents also. I'm not meaning to sound all "Wow, I'm so whatever" but I was the one who was always going over there, who helped them, who just...went and just goes. I know they like it and appreciate it, even just calling them if I can't get over there. I'm really not happy about missing this.
There's a lot of things I'm going to be missing. I don't like this game.
My mom called the people who deal with the headstones about my grandfather's headstone for the unveiling. She thought it would take about a month...and it'll take 3-4 months. This sucks. I'll be missing my grandfather's unveiling. When I said this to my mother she answered me, "I wasn't at my grandmother's funeral."
Me: Why?
Mom: I was going to Israel and Rabbi Bulka said I should go.
Me: Oh. But still...
Mom: That was a funeral. There's no halacha for an unveiling.
I know, but still...out of my sisters, I think I was the closest to my mom's parents. I think I'm the closest to my father's parents also. I'm not meaning to sound all "Wow, I'm so whatever" but I was the one who was always going over there, who helped them, who just...went and just goes. I know they like it and appreciate it, even just calling them if I can't get over there. I'm really not happy about missing this.
There's a lot of things I'm going to be missing. I don't like this game.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
OT Updates
The Ministry of Health put out a pirsum (publication) about the OT exam. It will be given in Hebrew and Arabic (...). There is a list of sources, because the way the law was written, there has to be a definitive source for each answer. The reference list includes English textbooks, some Israeli OT articles (Hebrew, of course), and a law or two. The good news is that I have some of the textbooks. The ones I don't have I will look into getting (maybe, maybe not-- but at least I'm in America so they're not more expensive than their usual. And I can write them off on my taxes because it's for work-- I'm doing independent contracting anyway :) ) The pirsum also included four questions.
The downside of the pirsum is that it is in Hebrew and it takes me a lot longer than it should to read it. Hey, it's good that I can read it but it's very, very, VERY frustrating to me that it will take me 2-3 times longer to read something than if it was in English. And I'm constantly looking up words that I know in English! Half of the words are English, transliterated to Hebrew and...it's really, really frustrating.
I know that I'm not stupid and that I'm perfectly capable of being an OT-- but things like this, just the things you think you should be able to do and then aren't or doing and it takes you 2-3 times as long to do it...it's really demoralizing and not good for self-esteem. It's also not conducive to feeling at home and comfortable. I guess this is where it starts to get difficult, being an olah-in-process.
The downside of the pirsum is that it is in Hebrew and it takes me a lot longer than it should to read it. Hey, it's good that I can read it but it's very, very, VERY frustrating to me that it will take me 2-3 times longer to read something than if it was in English. And I'm constantly looking up words that I know in English! Half of the words are English, transliterated to Hebrew and...it's really, really frustrating.
I know that I'm not stupid and that I'm perfectly capable of being an OT-- but things like this, just the things you think you should be able to do and then aren't or doing and it takes you 2-3 times as long to do it...it's really demoralizing and not good for self-esteem. It's also not conducive to feeling at home and comfortable. I guess this is where it starts to get difficult, being an olah-in-process.
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