Yom Kippur Thoughts

Erev Yom Kippur night there were selichot [special prayers that are recited, asking for forgiveness] at the Kotel [Western Wall] with HaRav Shlomo Amar and Harav Ovadiah Yosef [Chief Sephardi Rabbi of Israel and former Chief Sephardi Rabbi of Israel/current spiritual leader of the Shas political party in Israel]. The place was PACKED. I was there on shift with Magen David Adom and from about midnight on it was hopping-- I know I took out about 3 people, plus was treating in the tent. The annoying thing was that my ambulance left without me, which meant that I got home at 4 instead of 2:30-ish. Meh.

So-- Yom Kippur. I don't know how successful it was from G-d's perspective, but when YK ended I felt...good.

And one of the best parts? Between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur the buses said "Chatimah tovah," which is the traditional greeting for that time period.

Rosh Hashana thoughts

First thought: Thank goodness we don't have 3-day chagim here, besides Rosh Hashana.

Now for the more serious, reflective thoughts.

On Wednesday, Erev Rosh Hashana, before I left Jerusalem for the holiday, I went to the Kotel [the Western Wall], which is actually part of the retaining wall around the Temple courtyard, and the physical remnant that we have today of what was. It's a holy place, a very holy place. On the way there, something strange happened to me. People always talk about Jerusalem air feeling different, or there being a different atmosphere/feeling in Jerusalem on Shabbat [the Sabbath] and holidays, but I don't really feel it (maybe I'm spoiled because I live here?). This year I wasn't feeling the whole "ok, Rosh Hashana is coming" thing-- really, until Wednesday. When I walked out of my building I felt something-- almost like an anticipation in the air. And when I got to the Old City, as I walked into the Jewish quarter, I actually felt a change. Like I walked through an invisible barrier that nobody told me about and the atmosphere felt different. Holier, waiting, anticipating, a little more busy somehow.

I walked to the Kotel with that feeling and it struck me as strange that the Kotel was so empty. Ok, it was-- what? 12:30 on Erev Rosh Hashana-- but still...On the upside, I found a spot by the Kotel quickly. I davened. I just needed to be there-- I hadn't been since I got back from NY, and I missed it.

I feel like I kind of wonder, "Where did Rosh Hashana go?" It kind of just...passed.

So a bracha [blessing] for this new year that has just begun: May we be blessed with health, happiness, financial stability, the realization of dreams that we didn't even know existed, the strength to overcome the challenges that come our way, and-- peace. Both in the world overall, and within ourselves. May my small country be blessed with peace, safety, the ability to defend ourselves without international criticism (until peace happens) appropriate rainfall and may all the captives be returned home.

Shana tova u'metuka, u'mevorachat [a good, sweet, and blessed year].

Happy 4th! (part II), and unrelated notes

As an American-Israeli (and let's not discuss American-Israeli vs. Israeli-American; I was American first, but I wouldn't--couldn't-- live anywhere else but Israel), I celebrate two independence days.
I don't really find it a conflict at all, being both Israeli and American and celebrating the independence of both of my countries.

The days feel very different, though. Israeli Independence Day (henceforth abbreviated as IID) comes right after Yom Hazikaron, Israeli Memorial Day, and that really gives IID an...an added maybe (?) meaning, just because of the juxtaposition. American Memorial Day is completely separate from American Independence Day (AID; as a side note, there is also Veteran's Day and Flag Day in America...interesting). Independence Day in America is celebrated with fireworks, BBQs, and sales. Oh, and flag t-shirts. Those are very popular.


Unrelated Notes:
1. Onwards to being back in NY. The joys of Wal-Mart and lots of green mountains:
Wal-Mart. Please note the hugeness.










The mountains. Please note the greenness.




2. An interesting alarm clock that I would totally bring back, if not for the fact that, well...it looks like a bomb: here


3. I leave you with the song that makes me feel the most patriotic: "Proud to be an American," lyrics by Lee Greenwood:

If tomorrow all the things were gone,
I’d worked for all my life.
And I had to start again,
with just my children and my wife.

I’d thank my lucky stars,
to be livin here today.
‘ Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
and they can’t take that away.

And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

From the lakes of Minnesota,
to the hills of Tennessee.
Across the plains of Texas,
From sea to shining sea.

From Detroit down to Houston,
and New York to L.A.
Well there's pride in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say.

That I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

And I’m proud to be and American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

Shavuot-- aka, the holiday that vegetarians and those that do not like to be meat appreciate

Shavuot is the holiday that comes at the end of the counting of the Omer. People stay up all night learning and pray as early as possible. And in Jerusalem many people walk to the Kotel, the Western Wall, to pray there. That custom comes from a few sources, one being that once the Old City and the Western Wall were were liberated, Shavuot was the first time we were able to go there, and there is also a concept of making a pilgrimage to the Temple 3 times a year (Pesach/Passover, Shavuot, and Sukkot). Between these two, it's become a tradition on Shavuot to go to the Kotel on Shavuot morning after staying up (or not) learning. My favorite part of Shavuot morning is after davening. At the Kotel plaza, there are people making kiddush and giving out small packages of food (muffins/cake, a drink, etc.). And you leave the Kotel, by all the construction (ok, maybe less so now) and the beginning of Yafo, there is also-- you guessed it-- someone (a few someones) making kiddush and giving out cake and stuff. This country is amazing in the way that people take care of each other and how on major event days, someones are looking out for the rest of the population somehow.

Another tradition is eating dairy, for many reasons (see the link for Shavuot above). So I made lots of dairy. I ended making dinner last minute, so I made lots of dairy. Aside from challah (which is not dairy and I love to make), I made a dairyfest: cinnamon cheesecake with nutmeg in the crust, lasagna, a dairy noodle kugel, and pizza. And then I went to lunch by a friend of a friend and-- surprise! Dairy! I like dairy. Dairy makes me happy. Except when I'm meat (hence the reason I don't like eating meat).

Usually (like I've been here so long...well, usually what I do when I'm in Israel-put it that way; I've been here for 3 Shavuots) I stay up all night, go to the Kotel, and then go back to wherever I'm staying and SLEEP. This year I had a friend over and she didn't feel great, so we stayed home. I stayed up most of the night and learned, davened, then went to sleep until the afternoon. In the afternoon we went to a NBN unofficially singles event ("This event is for singles and young couples in their 20’s & 30’s", which means it's a singles event). On one hand, it's another singles event. On the other hand, I see a whole bunch of people at once and then I'm "yotze" for a whole year. That's convenient.

What I used to do for Shavuot was determined by where I was. If I was upstate, after we finished dinner I would go down the hill (with a pint of Ben & Jerry's and enough other candy and cheese balls to last through the night, sit at the back of the nightclub (the nightclub is really an auditorium-like space with a stage that serves as the shul for the main minyan on Shabbos in the summer) and learn with Chari and maybe a few others, take plenty of breaks in the middle, pass out for a little while on the benches, get up, then daven and go back up the hill and sleep. If I was by a friend's, we would usually go to her shul, learn, eat, daven, then go back to her house and sleep until the afternoon. And then in both scenarios, have a regular second dag of Yom Tov.

it's been 2 weeks...

ok, 17 days technically since I updated. Sorry.

So-- Yom Ha'atzmaut. Oh, and Lag Ba'omer. And fairly soon, Yom Yerushalayim and Shavuot.

So-- Yom Ha'atzmaut. Started the night off by doing an avtacha at a street party that ended up getting closed early by the police because there were too many people there (why they didn't just not let anybody else in when it got full is asking too much from Israelis). So I went home at 2 am instead of at 4 am, which was fine with me. The avtacha was supposed to start at 11, so I figured that I would have to be there at 10. No, the volunteer office called me and said I had to be at the station at 9. We left the station at 9:45. Next year I'm going to a BBQ instead. During the day I went home (oh, I made flag cookies. Yummy flag cookies) and Rita and Dov had a party in the afternoon, then I went back into Jerusalem for a BBQ-- kind of a winding down because everyone already BBQ'd during the rest of the day.

Lag Ba'omer was, as usual, a pyromaniac's dream. I went to the NBN bonfire, and next year I will be going to the MDA Chul one. Josh made one, which would have been awesome to go to, but I didn't know where it was and he didn't answer his phone. And I forgot that I had Gavy's number, who I also could have called. But on the upside, at least I didn't try to find it because as Gavy put it-- "it was on top of a hill where you would think you would be raped and dumped." Right. Next time I'll call Josh in advance, or someone else. I definitely have bonfire pictures somewhere.

What else, what else? Getting ready to wrap up the school year. I'm going to be in only two schools next year (thank goodness). I'm going on some Fridays to sort of get acquainted with the new school for next year so that I don't come in with a total surprise and actually start working well. Like I said, it will be interesting because it's a population that I haven't really worked with, and it's also a high school, so there's a very big element of getting ready for life in the community, which should be kind of cool.

And Vered made aliyah! Yay! Mazal tov and welcome! Joint pancake birthday party to happen in the near future.

I think that's about it. I really wish I had more to say.

Oh! I can talk about dating here. Over the past couple of weeks I've gone out on a few dates. Nothing came out of them, but at least I went. And some of them were with Israelis...yay for me! That being said, still looking...and I'm open to suggestions (within reason; don't think about setting me up with a 35 year old, or someone who isn't religious, or doesn't speak a word of English/Hebrew-- yes, they've all been done...)

Yom Hazikaron

Last year I didn't post about my experiences; I later posted a poem, which I've linked to here.

American Memorial Day didn't mean much to me beyond sales and a day for BBQs. Now that I think about it, I'm sure it meant much more to my Grandpa and Zaidy (and maybe also my grandmothers) who knew people who fought and died in the wars of America. I'm sure that if I went to Arlington, or any other military cemetery, I would feel it more; I would recognize the day for what it was intended to be. But I never did. I didn't feel it in America; I don't know if I would if I went back.

When I was growing up, Israeli Memorial Day was always observed in school, but I never really made the connection of Memorial Day being right before Independence Day, really impressing the significance. People DIED-- DIED-- so that there could be an Israel. Somehow...I never really felt the "people DIED so that there could be an America." Here...everyone who was killed was a friend or relative of a friend or a friend of a friend. I would be surprised if there was more than 2 degrees of separation between someone who was killed and anyone walking around Israel today...it's so close for everyone.

Last year I and another ulpan student were invited to carry a wreath for Natan Sharansky as he placed a wreath at the memorial ceremony for victims of terror. It was surreal, as I was walking to the ceremony and during, listening, and after, walking around Har Herzl...just...it felt like a memorial day, a day to remember. The night before I went to a ceremony with Elinor and Aryeh and on the way there was the tzfira, the 1-minute siren that marks the start of Memorial Day in Israel. Aryeh stopped the car, we got out, and stood. Remembering, reflecting, thinking, and paying respect to those who died for Israel.

There's also this...interesting (?) thing-- I don't know the right word for it. It's...kind of like a large-scale kumsitz. It's called "shira b'tzibur"-- "singing in a congregation" where there are songs put up on a screen, like in karaoke, and everyone sings together. They are old songs, traditional Israeli, war songs, hopeful songs, sad songs...and they are songs that are part of the culture here. And this shira b'tzibur is very...customary (?) on Yom Hazikaron and random other times. Everyone is sitting together, usually on mats on the floor or chairs in front of the screen and everyone sings together. Sometimes there are instruments, sometimes not. But it's amazing; it's just everyone sitting together and singing, being a group.

You feel a heaviness in the atmosphere here-- the country is in mourning, and you feel it. It's like when somebody you know dies and the world should stop and you're walking around in a haze because everything feels so thick. Except in this case, the whole country does stop, because everybody is thinking about somebody.

Contrasts

I was just looking at my pictures from Pesach two years ago, the last Pesach that I was in NY for and upstate-- the way I grew up having Pesach.

Pesach really seems to be THE holiday that exemplifies the whole family coming together. Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur not as much, and even Chanukah, because of it's proximity to other winter holidays. But Pesach-- everyone who has some connection to Judaism and tradition remembers the seder. For me, Pesach was my family together, upstate-- see here; I don't need to post it again.

It's something that I want my kids to have memories of, the way I have-- my immediate family, plus my grandparents, plus aunts, uncles, and cousins (well, only one set in my case). It was also something special-- because my mom was an only child and my grandparents all got along, my mom's parents always were at the seder even though it was upstate and in my Bubby and Zaidy's house. I always had seder with both sets of grandparents. I wonder what seder was like this year in my house (my parent's house...). The first seder they had a friend from the neighborhood over and the second night a different family friend came over.

I wonder what my seder will be like once I have my own family. I should probably write something else about that, because that seems to be a repeating theme: The future for me in Israel, with my own family. Not that I have someone to start it with, but it's still something that I clearly think about a lot.

Chanukah in Israel

My first Chanukah as an Israeli. I didn't bring latkes and applesauce to work...because I didn't have work because I work in misrad hachinuch and have off for Chanukah. But...people here know what levivot are. The applesauce with them is less common, apparently.

I had sufganiyot-- I think the ones here were better than the ones in NY. There were so MANY flavors to choose from; the most common ones seemed to be jelly (strawberry) and ribat chalav (dulce de leche), but there were also chocolate and pistachio and vanilla cream-filled. There were others topped with sprinkles, chocolate flakes, chopped nuts, icing drizzles-- so many different kinds! And there were also mini ones, with fewer calories and less bad stuff for you. But...there were a lot of kinds. Yes.

In terms of chanukiyot (menorahs, for the Americans)-- most people use oil, but there were still many candle ones for sale. I had a hard time finding the pretty candles that Mom always got, but then I found two boxes in a random store near Ben Yehuda. And then the last night I saw them in the tachana merkazit in Jerusalem (note to self for next year).

It kind of felt like the holiday season...except it felt too early for Christmas-- it is too early, but the holiday season in the fall/winter to me means Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's. I definitely miss the holiday season in NY (ok, more the vacation time), but I also had traditions with my friends for erev Christmas and New Year's. Erev Christmas was Gingerbread-- SaraShatz and I started building gingerbread creations on erev Christmas (because who cared how late we were up-- it was vacation the next day :)) and we would let it dry until New Year's Eve and eat it at the New Year's party/get-together thing. Because, again, who cared how late we were up-- it was vacation the next day.

I am continuing the tradition here, but slightly differently. I am making the gingerbread on the Thursday night before Christmas and having the eating party on the Thursday night before New Year's. Yeah...I miss Christmas and New Year's vacations. Yes, I got Chanukah, but I miss the one-day-vacations so much...Election Day, Veteran's Day, Thanksgiving (ok, 2 days), etc. And then after winter break, there was President's Week-- I don't think I went 2 months without a break. Here I go straight until Purim, which is only 2 days anyway, and it's in the middle-end of March. So that's 14 straight weeks. Yipee...(don't I sound excited...). But anyway-- gingerbread making will be happening here, despite the lack of molasses; I will be using silan (date honey)- I found a company that is an ok substitute for molasses-- not great, but ok. It shall be interesting to see the spin on gingerbread here, because it's not so traditional at all here. Gingerbread doesn't exist so much here.

Birthday thoughts

I haven't forgotten about Yom Hashoah, Yom Hazikaron, and Yom Haatzmaut. I will also have Yom Yehushalyim to add to that list very shortly. But put those on the side for now.

My last birthday in Israel was at a very different point in my life. I was still living at home with my parents and I was in Israel on vacation. Not, you know, for life. The night before I was staying at Hannah's apartment with Eden and we broke out the cookies at midnight-- Stella D'oro Swiss Fudge cookies. Yummy. I opened one card and left the rest for the morning. The next morning we went to out 88-hour/natan course and I had a surprise birthday party with the um...yeah, the most interesting birthday cake I had ever had.

This year is completely different. I'm in Israel, but I'm living here...as in, not on vacation. I'm living here. My family sent cards and I supposed I could put them (or at least the card from my parents) on the table for the morning, but that definitely loses something. Even though I knew that every year there was going to be a card waiting for me when I got downstairs, it was always nice and exciting.

I also don't really know what to do for my birthday party this year. I don't have an apartment that I can really have friends over in because I live in a merkaz klita [absorption center] that happens to be sof ha'olam s'molah [end of the world, take a left]. Bars are not my thing. I decided to either do light dinner (bagels, salads, etc.) in the park, or dinner at a restaurant. The thing with a restaurant is that you have to make reservations and really know how many people, etc. In the park (or in an apartment) you can get a couple of dozen bagels, spreads, drinks, and snacks and people can come in and out. I don't really care, it's about the people.

Reflections on One Seder

Somehow...it doesn't quite feel like Yom Tov with only one day of chag. I suppose that's normal-- but...it feels...missing something- wait, let's rephrase that so it's proper English and makes sense: it feels like something is missing. As much as the two-day yom tov was long, it feels like something is missing now. Like it's only half of a chag.

My aunt and uncle are doing a second seder; that's also weird, to have a second seder going on in the background while I'm sitting here tapping away on the computer.

Pesach in the Holy Land

Subtitle: My first chag as an Israeli

Pesach is one of those holidays that is so darn family-centered. Growing up my parents, sisters, and I always went upstate with my father's parents, my aunt, uncle, and cousin (my dad's sister and her family), and my mom's parents (my mom is an only child). And there were 12 of us in the house, plus the dog-- Bubby and Zaidy (my dad's parents)'s room, my aunt and uncle's room, my family's room, and my Grandma and Grandpa (my mom's parents)'s room. The kids all slept in in their parent's rooms/in the couch when passed out from exhaustion at the seder.

We had our traditions-- the kids rotated setting the table/serving/cleaning up; 2 kids per seder and the rest of the meals were 1 child each. My mom brought the European kiddush cups for the seder, four of them in four different sizes. There were originally 3 in the set from my great-grandparents, and then a fourth one was added from a family friend. Only the largest two were big enough to actually have enough wine from, but we used them anyway. My Zaidy, my Grandpa, my dad, and my uncle each had a seder plate, and everyone had their own kiddush cup. My Zaidy's was red/maroon glass, my Grandpa's kiddush cup was green with a glass insert, my dad's was silver with his name, and my uncle's was silver also. My cousin had his own, too, also silver. My Bubby, Grandma, and aunt used glass ones, and my mom and sisters and I used the European cups and sometimes supplemented with other cups.

The way Pesach went in my house was a couple of weeks before Pesach, my parents would go upstate and bring stuff up, and then a few days before my Bubby and Zaidy would go up and supervise the cleaning lady. In our house in the city we would clean and get the house Pesachdik because my dad came back over chol hamoed to work. My Grandpa made the charoset in our house, with my little sister and I as taste testers; mostly wine, but he always made one container with grape juice.

We would all get upstate, and my Bubby and Zaidy would already be there, usually my aunt, uncle, and cousin as well, and my Bubby would be making chremzel (matzah meal pancakes) for us to eat. We would unload in between eating, saying hi, and petting the dog.

Once everything was in and we were ready to get ready for the seder, my Grandma would do the eggs, whoever was on duty for the seder would set the table with my Bubby, my Bubby would make the salad, my mom would be heating the food up, and my aunt would be doing the seder plates and whatnot. Everyone was doing something.

Then the guys came home from shul. Treasure would let us know. Eventually the guys would pick their matzahs, everyone would end up with a Haggadah (usually the same ones, although it always took 20 minutes to pick...), and we would start. Zaidy made kiddush, the Grandpa, then my dad, then my uncle, then BZ. For Karpas, my Bubby would make the salt water (with pepper too) and put it in two white bowls with the same cups every year. Once Yachatz happened, we (the kids) would tell our fathers/grandfathers that we would "keep" the afikomen safe and make sure it was in a safe place until the end of the seder. My BZ took his dad's, and us girls (my sisters and I) would split up between my dad, Zaidy, and Grandpa. Usually my dad gave it to my mom to hold and Lis got it; Andrea got Grandpa's because she sat next to him, and I got my Zaidy's. Once Andrea got married and went to Seder with Yoni's family, I took Grandpa's. And we would go through the seder, reading and talking. Ma Nishtana, Lis and BZ did. We used to do the multi-lingual thing, but then it got tiring. Of course there were the classic moments of, "And the rasha says, 'What kind of crap is this?'" and divrei Torah and comments interspersed in Maggid and in-between. Motzei everyone did on their own-- but until that happened... We got to shulchan orech-- no matter who was on duty, I served soup. My thing was soup. Is soup (as in, I know what everybody in my family wants and can tell you-- clear soup, veggies, no veggies, only certain veggies, noodles, kneidel, how much...it's kinda freaky/cool). Then came tzafun, aka negotiations. We used to negotiate individually, but eventually we all (all 4 of us cousins) negotiated together as a group, on one night for both sedarim. It was a game: we would hide the afikoman, we would say we won't give it back, my dad would threaten to eat another piece of matzah instead and not wait for the afikoman and we would talk to my Zaidy. Grandpa always agreed right away, or before my Grandma died he would "consult" with her. But it was just so much fun. As the seder went on, though, there would be different people "taking breaks" by falling asleep on the couch or going to their beds. At Hallel and Nirtzah, we would go around during Echad Mi Yodeah and Adir Hu, etc., taking turns reading. If I close my eyes-- actually, I don't have to, I can just picture it-- I can still hear almost hear my Grandma's voice, and I can still see and hear my Grandpa reading from the large print Haggadah in his English-Hungarian accent. I miss it. I miss them.

After Grandma died it wasn't the same-- close, but still felt her missing. And then Andrea got married and they were by us once, but after that went to the hotel. And last year Grandpa died so that was one less person at the table. And this year...well, this year, I wouldn't be there, my aunt and uncle came to Israel because BZ is here for the year, and so my Bubby and Zaidy and parent and Lis would have been the only ones. And that's depressing. So Bubby, Zaidy, my parents, and Lis went to the hotel and they're going to get to spend the Seder with Andrea and Yoni and Squishy-- one, at least. The other seder they're doing with Yoni's family.

I'm having a hard-ish time. Remember how my mom didn't want me to be lonely? I'm not lonely, but I do miss my family and friends back in NY. I think I feel it a little more acutely because of the break-up and not having that person like before, but it's also the first time I'm away from my family and missing the real traditions that we do every year and the...just the home and family. Sukkot isn't as much, because I went away for the last days anyway so it was kind of whatever. But Pesach-- we were all together. And there was always too much food and too many drinks and everyone getting on each other's nerves and being in and out and...this Pesach is going to be hard. Good, nice, different, but hard.

I also realized that I can't not live in Israel, but I definitely left someone I very well could have married. I'm having a bit of a down moment.

Purim x2

There's Purim and there's Shushan Purim. Shushan Purim is celebrated in walled cities, such as Jerusalem. And it's celebrated indeed!

I decided I was going to celebrate regular Purim. This year was a little more complicated because Purim fell out on a Motzei Shabbat, which meant that I would have to be outside of Jerusalem on Motza"sh to hear Megillah, and since Megillah is read before havdalah, I would have to be whereever I was going to be for Purim, for Shabbat.

Purim:
I went home (Chashmonaim) (as a side note, I was home for the past month of Shabbatot. That is so rare; the last time I was home for a month was the month before I made aliyah) for Shabbat. And heard Megillah in Chashmonaim. Then I went to Yosef's because he was having a party at his house. I borrowed a sari/saree from Shana and even though Madoor (an Indian guy from Ulpan) showed me how to tie it and he helped me pin it where it was supposed to, it took me about 20-30 minutes to wrap; man, those things are complicated. When you don't know what you're doing. On Sunday morning I heard Megillah in Raanana and I was supposed to go back to Chashmonaim for seudah...which I thought was at 3...and turned out to be at 1:30. I found this out at about 11:30... I quickly packed up my stuff and Yosef took me to the bus. I waited for the bus. And waited. And then one of the buses drove by, stopped about 3 feet from the curb and said that the buses aren't stopping at that stop, but only certain stops including Aluf Sade. Ok, fine, take a bus to Aluf Sade. And again, wait. And wait. And it's now 1 pm. There was no way I was making it to seudah because of all the traffic. Back-up plan: Call Eli and Avi and see if I can come to them for seudah. And they said yes! Yay! ...Ok, go back on the bus to Bar Ilan and follow the directions to the supermarket, pick up stuff, and go to Eli and Avi's. Oh, yeah, and in the rain. Yay! (I'm not sure if that was sarcastic or not; you decide).
Seudah was really nice. Really nice. It was a bunch of people from Bar Ilan, most of whom I'd already met. I wore my sari, but it kept getting the way, like every time I bent down. I have to learn how to work it. I did figure out a way to tie it up, but it didn't look so good. Whatever; I'll practice more.
After 6 pm the buses were running normally, so around 7:30-8 I left Eli and Avi's and went to the bus and got home. :)

Shushan Purim:
Monday morning I went into Jerusalem (I stayed in Chashmonaim overnight so I didn't have to worry about hearing Megillah in the morning, because outside of walled cities it wasn't Purim anymore) and went to the Sadehs for seudah. It was the first time I met Yaffa and the rest of the kids (well, the rest of the boys anyway; the one girl wasn't there) and it was a lot of fun. The seudah was long and crazy and there was tons and tons of food.
Aside from the seudah, Jerusalem itself was nuts. There were firecrackers and fireworks being set off everywhere you turned-- pretty, but I'm pretty sure that there were lots of burns and other injuries, seeing as it was mostly kids who were doing them. For a shock, there were lots of drunk people...gee...
The best part, though, was the buses. The buses normally have the route number and the direction written on them-- for Purim it alternated between the route number/direction and the route number/פורים שמח ("Purim sameach"-- Happy Purim") and the music on the buses was Purim music. I love it...can't wait for Pesach!

That's one of the amazing things about being here, about living in Israel. It's MY country, MY holidays, and MY people. I mean, people gave bus drivers mishloach manot (aka shalach manos, aka packages of food that you give out on Purim)-- think about this! Do people give the bus drivers in New York candy canes on Christmas? Or candy bars on Halloween? I love it.

!במירון רבי שמעון, אדוננו בר יוחאי

Lag BaOmer! Yay!
In Israel it means medurot (bonfires) and the whole freaking country smelling like smoke. But it's fun. מדורות (bonfires), על האש (BBQs), chilling. It looks like the whole country is going up in flames, there are so many fires. I spent last Lag BaOmer at the Kaufmans; they organized a מנגל and everyone brought food (there was far too much), we played Banagrams, Elinor and Yehuda played the cello, Arie made THE tea, and we roasted marshmallows. And there were bonfires ALL OVER.


English-date wise, it was my birthday! Well, now it's still May 11 in the States, but in Israel it's already May 12. Eden and I slept over by Hannah's the night before, we broke out the cookies early, I opened on of my cards, had an interesting texting conversation with Shloime because I couldn't sleep, and then the next morning Hannah, Eden, and I went to Bayit Vagan for shlav bet. More about that tomorrow.

Yom HaZikaron and Yom HaAtzmaut

Yom HaZikaron has so much more meaning in Israel than Memorial Day seems to have here. I'm sure it has more meaning for people who know military servicemen and women who were killed, but it's also very different. It's a day to mourn the people who were killed, not just for sales and being off of work. Memorial Day here means a long weekend and going away with family and bbqs and for some people, a time to remember and mourn people who were killed...Memorial Day in Israel means a day to remember people who were killed. There is a siren when traffic stops and people get out of their cars IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY to stand out of respect. It's a day where there are ceremonies all over the country in the 24 military cemeteries (24! Military alone! In a country the size of New Jersey!), not to mention those that are buried not in military cemeteries.

Everyone knows someone or has some connection to someone...even me. The farthest connection I can think of is 1 degree away...somebody whose best friend/friend/sibling/uncle/aunt/parent/grandparent/combination of the above/other was killed. I can't think of any farther connections.

Maybe that's why it's so meaningful. It's very, very real. And when it comes into your life, it becomes much more real. On the other hand, I have the same connection to people who were killed here...1 degree away. But it doesn't feel the same. Maybe because it's so many more people? Or just the attitude. Memorial Day is a day to remember and memorialize-- not "sales and bbq day" (which happens to be the day

Chagim

I'm spending the chagim-- all of them-- at home. I usually go away, at least for Simchas Torah, but this year I'm going to be home.
It's going to be weird anyway, with Bubby and Zaidy being by Doda and Uncle David part of the time, but I might as well take in as much as I can, right?
There's a part of me that's going, "Um...there's still a chance you're not moving in July, in which case you'll be here next year for the chagim..." but I'm ignoring it.

I keep thinking there are these "lasts," but on the other hand, July is so far away...but...not. The chagim do only come once a year, and I am planning on July...which means these would be the last chagim as usual. Sort of...



*Talia's comment: I keep doing that in my head with lasts, only its with getting married instead of making aliyah... but it is such a weird feeling!*

So...ummm...yeah...

Part II of my Israel trip happened. I kind of didn't blog it because of a lack of time; I wrote it in a handwritten journal, so if anyone wants they can read that.

In short: I went back to Israel for another seven and a half weeks, and again...had an amazing time. You know, for a shock.
I'll try to summarize a few key points: I got in Wednesday night (May 7, end of Yom Hazikaron and beginning of Yom Ha'atzmaut), was home (home= Chashmoanim; when I'm in Israel, home is always Chashmonaim, until I have my own place) for a few days.
I started off by not being able to find the stroller-- turned out that it was on the "oversize luggage belt." Rita picked me up, and things hadn't even started-- it was Yom Ha'atzmaut-- Israeli Independence Day, and since things start at night and I got in at about 6 pm, I was right on time. I wish I could have been there for Yom HaZikaron, but I enjoyed Yom Ha'atzmaut.
Yom Ha'atzmaut: I went to do an avtacha with Eden. I got into Jerusalem, called Eden, and she said she was right by the bus station...I found here-- almost didn't recognize her because she lost so much weight, but that was a happy reunion. We went to the station and couldn't find our driver...so we called Boaz and we were going back and forth, etc. In the meantime, Hannah and Ryan came to say hi to us. Our driver finally showed up about 15 minutes after we were supposed to be at the avtacha, but whatever. We got to the avtacha and just hung out. We bumped into MDA 69 people and Kaufy and Elinor. The avtacha was actually cool-- it was at Muzaeon HaChaim, which is The Living Museum, so there were people dressed and acting like historical figures from Israel's creation as a Jewish state. There were also dancers and musicians-- it was like a giant street fair. We had one call there-- as Eden and I were walking around, someone flagged us down because his friend was not feeling well. I called for our driver while Eden started taking care of the person-- the madlad didn't work either. The kesher apparently wasn't working either, so I went to our ambulance and we got another. And that didn't work, so we took the Natan's. We brought our patient to the other ambulance (it was closer) and took care of him there. He declined transport, so that was that. Nothing else.
At the end there were fireworks, which were fun. We were so close-- one building away! It was cool. Kapach made coffee, which was good. Gotta love the portables.

Spent Shabbat at home and then went into Jerusalem on Sunday to got to Shearim for a day, then do the hashlamah course. Ended up being קורס נט"ן and 88-hr.

What is your job on the ambulance? Be the paramedic's bitches"-- wise words from Jaffe
Arie (Jaffe) taught the קורס נט"ן which was half-assed, but not his fault-- we didn't even have the equipment we needed...next time I vote for a road trip to the station to see a functional ambulance and equipment. 88-hr. was taught by Yehuda (Stein). There was a heavy emphasis in the one on IVs-- we got to do 4-5 each, which was cool. I would have like to learn more...don't get me wrong-- being able to do so many IVs was good, but doing all of them so quickly together doesn't always help you learn so well. But the again, we did the 2 courses in 4 days, so what was I really expecting?
Oh, the opening exam! That was a bitch; it was all in Hebrew! I struggled through it. I'm kind of proud if myself; I got about a 60, which isn't exactly a good grade, but it was pretty high, relative to what everybody else got. And we had madrichim who are fluent in Hebrew in the class too!
The first day of the course was also my birthday. Eden and I slept over at Hannah's the night before, and they made me a surprise birthday party! (Jaffe got a call and left, and we had a party-- Jungle Speed and cake and cards!).
I failed the first practical-- I forgot to check for severe bleeding in C of the primary survey, but did fine on the patient interview. So I redid the practical later that evening-- I knew it, I know I knew it, I just...didn't.
After the courses I stayed at Bayit Vagan to help with the rest of the course. I also did a couple of shifts, including one with Gal and Yoyo (who now is a driver! yay!).

Course Madrichim, aka The Animal Brothel
The next Monday I went back to Bayit Vagan(orrhea) with Hannah to start Course Madrichim. There were 11 of us in course, which was considered to be a lot; I understand it, but there were...whatever. Our instructor was sick for the first week, so basically anyone who was available taught...Yehuda taught a few lessons, Kaufy gave a lesson on lesson plans, Dan gave a lesson on problems in the class, somebody who has nothing to do with MDA chul until that point taught a couple days...basically, fill-ins. Which was really not good and not conducive to learning. Sharon came in on Sunday, and things started coming together. I really wish they would have extended the course so we would have had more time with a cohesive one, but that's that...it was fun sometimes. There was one point where Perle and I had it out, massively. It was bad. Anyway, so course madrichim was fun for the most part. The best part in the hostel was the mirpeset we had-- there were 9 girls, so we had 2 rooms with a huge mirpeset with doors to both rooms, so we could go back and forth (and get into the other room when the door was locked and couldn't find the key).

Then it was Shavuot; I did shift in the morning and went with Sara to MMY. I kept one day, which at first sounded weird, but...it actually wasn't at all. I had called Kaufy to find out what was going on, if there was space for me, and it didn't even register that I was calling on what should have been second day of Shavuot. It was...I was home.
The second day (or what would have been), I did morning shift in Jerusalem and left a little early, because my driver was leaving early anyway. Went up to TA with Kaufy to do erev-layla on the atan, had one call and switched to a ragil at the hospital because there was one driver who had nobody on his ambulance, and there were 2 paramedics plus Kaufy, plus me on the atan...so I switched. I worked with a guy named Barak, who was doing a hishtalmut shift later as a paramedic. We were in the Yafo station and I discovered a new TV show-- Ramzor. He was cool. It was a good shift, and I'd like to work with him again. We had one call that he said was a "TLC call." It's so important to take care of the TLC calls...yeah, they feel like a waste of time, but ironically they're the ones who need your focus the most-- your trauma patients need you to attend and focus on the treatment, but that's pure protocol. You really have to pay attention to the person, not just the patient, when you have one of those calls.
After that we went back to the TA station (late, because of the late last call at 10:30-ish). I did night shift on the atan again; just a few calls. Eden was also doing night, so we talked a little between calls and sleeping.

Again, another week off...did random things. Couple of shifts.

Teaching the course: TBC...

Final Words From Israel, at Least Until I Get to The Airport

Sunday, March 23, 2008
7:15 am
At the tachana for my last shift- unless I get a night shift.
I spent Shabbat by Eli; it was nice.
Thursday I worked a shift with Ohad, Fund, Avital, and a MDA 71 girl, Bianca. It was a day full of fainting calls. 2/3 were cancelled, and one unconscious turned out to be a fainting. Our last call was a lady who supposedly had fallen and had been lying on the ground for 2 days. I don't know how long she was actually there for, all I know is that it stank in that apt.
Thursday afternoon I went to Elkie and Yehuda's to bake. We baked some blueberry and mostly chocolate hamentaschen. Went to Yehuda's family for megillah, then went to Eli's and got there about midnight.
Shabbat was nice-- Friday night we ate at Mo's with about 15 people. Shabbat lunch was organized by Doron. I took a nap, then went to mincha, then had seudah shlishit at someone named Sarit. It was really chilled-- her, me, Eli, her roommate, and one guy who ate and ran.
Then we went to daven, made havdalah, then I came into Jerusalem. Met up with Eden at the tachana hamerkazit and we went to the SHearim Purim Shpiel; it was cute. We got there late, but saw about half of it. We slept over at Naomi, Debbie, Katie, and Leah's apt. then came to shift this morning.

I really don't want to leave. I know I'm coming back in may, but I just-- don't want to go.
I know I have to take my boards and get a job for when I get back, but I don't even know what I want to do! --cut because this is a trip journal, not a "What Kind of Job do I Want" journal-- But back to Israel-- G-d, I don't want to leave, even though I know I have to go back.

10:15 pm
Doing a night shift! Yay! And it's with Eden! We're working with 2 guys both named Shlomie. I'm so freaking tired-- I actually feel myself being clumsier and slower. But on calls I'm good-- it's the rush.
I want to take a nap, but I'm watching our stuff-- mostly the fleeces. Really, those are the things most likely to get stolen.
I can;t believe that at this time tomorrow I'll be in the airport, waiting for my flight back to NY. It doesn't seem like it's real; it'll probably only hit me when I'm on the plane or back in NYC.

10:26 pm
No call, just a conversation break.
It'll probably hit me when I see a Starbucks-- or take the subway.
Or call/text someone and hear them. Or when I look at the clock and go, "So-and-so is on shift now." Or whatever.
G-d, I'm going to miss this place.

Monday, March 24, 2008
3:30 am
Birth! I just had a birth! That makes up for the other not-so-exciting calls that we had. We also had a drunk who couldn't walk, but refused to come with us anyway, an old lay who couldn't walk and had leg pain, and a guy who had suspected recurring pneumonia.
Birth made up for these calls. She delivered within 2 minutes of getting into the ER-- a girl. It was awesome!

5:46 am
I think I just came back from my last call-- for now. Chayal, was going into a building, someone(s) thought he was a robber, shot at him and started beating him-- sof-sof, he had a couple of scratches and maybe a slight head injury. But more scared thatn anything else.
Hmmm-- skipped over yesterday; I was going to write earlier today, but it really was yesterday.
Morning shift I did with Rivchi and Shiran. It was not a normal morning-- there was no shibutz (where we pick who we're work with-- assignments)-- basically find-a-driver. There was a new MDA 71 guy there-- poor guy, it was his first day and this is what he got...But he worked with Shira and Leah, so it was a good team.
I was in the Knesset until about 11-11:30 when we got a call. We had a couple of calls-- nothing terribly exciting.
After shift I went with Eden to the Purim seudah that Kaufy and Elinor were co-hosting at their friend's apt. It was really nice-- there were about 15 people there for the meal, and then some more showed up at the end for dessert and Apples to Apples.
Then I went back to tachana merkazit, met Eden, and we came to the MDA station. I attempted to nap before shift-- it didn't work too well.
I ended up switching and working with Yair and Dikla (I did the avtacha at the bar mitzvah with her and Gal). I don't know why, but at least 3 out of 5 of our calls were in Pisgat Ze'ev, so Yair told the moked that after our last call we weren't going to bother coming back to the tachana, just stayin Pisgat Ze'ev as a konan (first responder).
Oh, I forgot! Shloime stopped by the tachana to say bye. Ryan was going to, but he was a little bit out of it. He might come this morning-- later today.
I'm so tired- but I don't want to go to sleep now- I have officially 45 minutes left to my shift, but the morning shift people (aka those doing sherut leumi and MDA chul) will be here in, like, 15-30 minutes.
I wish I could do an am shift, but it's just not happening. I have to go to Marzipan, get Gilah's gum if I can find it, and go home to pack.
--cut because my day planning is boring--
Boaz just got here, or at least 42 did-- think I'll go brush my teeth and then go hang out in the machsan for a bit.

10:20 am
On the bus back to Chashmonaiim. I just sent a text to Eden and Shloime-- "I'm on the bus and it just fucking hit me...I'm leaving. And I'm going to cry." More on this later when I'm not about to throw up as well.

March 9, 2008-March 18, 2008

Sunday, March 9, 2008
5:44 am
Waiting for Valerie at the trempiyada (where I get a ride from). Wonder what today will be like-- it's been very warm-to-hot the past week or so. And humid; you literally see the haze all day.
10:31 am
Today it's cooler. I definitely could have worn my fleece, because I'm wearing a t-shirt under my sweatshirt and I'm slightly cool. I'm working with Boaz and Nerya today; Benny was supposed to be with us, but he was at the tachana merkazit and Refael needed someone, so Benny went with him to do an avtacha. We might go to Bayit Vagan after-- Eden went with Coby to speak at something. So now I'm hanging out in the machsan; I thought Boaz said to come at the regular time, but he said come any time until 10:30. So I came at the regular time-- and took a nap from about 8-9:30. That worked nicely.
12:32 pm
Still waiting...Boaz in in a meeting. Murgh.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008
8:11 pm
Heat broke. Finally. I had my fleece today, which made me happy. I also got up at 5:15, which was exciting. Today I worked in the machsan in the morning and had 2 calls in the afternoon.
Yesterday Benny, Eden, and I went to Bayit Vagan to see MDA 71-- there's 83 of them! I'm really glad my course was small.
Reminder- have to call Coby tomorrow about Fri. am. I REALLY want to do shift with. -- ok, nm, he'll call me back.
IN other aspects of my life, I have lots of bruises on my legs and I'm not quite sure where they came from. Which is bad.
What else? Oh, tomorrow I'm doing a shuk run- want to do shopping for mishloach manot-- which means I have to make a list of who I'm giving to. Oh, and baking- I think I'm going to bake on Tuesday. Tuesday night. I'll see.
'k, off to go make my list-- oh, wait, I have to call Shloime or Ryan to find out about Purim-- but they might not know yet- well, I'll put them on a "maybe" list.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008
10:00 pm
Waiting--
(note: I don't remember what I was waiting for, but it was probably laundry or something like that)

Sunday, March 16, 2008
11:50 am
Over the past few days it's not been very exciting. I've had a couple of psych pts.-- neither of which came with us.
1:10 pm
What a crazy call we just had! (translated from Hebrew) Wow, I actually have to make an effort to write in English; my first instinct is to write in Hebrew. Right, so calls-- nothing overly interesting, except the previous one, which I'll get to ina minute.
Wednesday I ended up not doing a shuk run, but just went to Bayit Vagan instead. Thursday I went to the shuk.
Wednesday I/
4:06 pm
Call. Anyway, so Wednesday I worked with Itzak and Adam. Itzak was teaching a new driver, Benny. I really like Itzak's style-- TBC...
6:16 pm
Waiting at the Old Jaffa Youth Hostel, in Yafo. By the way, this feels really sketchy-- kind of like the Bowery at night alone. Well, at night, even with people. More about this adventure later. But damn, this feels sketchy!
Anyway, so Wednesday with Itzak. He's great. He really teaches by example and direct feedback-- he says what was good, what needs to be corrected, and how to correct it. He doesn't correct you obviously in front of pts.-- he'll help you and show/guide. Or step back and let you not do it as smoothly as if you were experienced. We had a few calls that day, including one day who looked almost catatonic when we got there. He had been standing in the entrance of the yeshiva all morning. He wouldn't talk, give ID, tell us his name-- nothing. Eventually we coaxed him out towards the ambulance. He ended up just walking off.

Monday, March 17, 2008
9:06 am
At Hadassah Ein Karem. So-- what else interesting? Not too much.
I had an interesting day on Thursday. Not so much in terms of calls, but I was supposed to be with Refael/
12:07 pm
But the Boaz had no mitnadvim (volunteers) and Nerya (the bat sherut who works with him) wasn't there, so I worked with Boaz.
Yesterday I had a crazy call. First the Natan got called out. Then we got called out-- 2 girls with burns. We get there-- the Natan is parked outside already. We go in and there's a girl sitting in the office with her leg up. We get taken to another girl, who's sitting in a chair crying hysterically. Clearly not our burns girls. She's crying, her leg hurts. Get her onto a bed and extend her leg-- she has a band-aid on her knee and it's swollen and bruised. We start taking care of her; Itzak on the Natan is treating the burns girls. Balagan.
2:00 pm
By thee way, most of the time that I stop in the middle of a sentence and it's a shift, it's for a call.
Back to the balagan call-- we're treating the girl with the bruised and swollen knee, Itzak is treating the burns girls, and there's a fourth one sitting/ [insert call here] nm, mevutal-- cancelled. (continuing) in the office with I don't even know what. All 4 of the incidents happened during recess; the only ones that were related were the burns girls.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008
10:00 am
Yesterday's calls weren't anything special. I had a fire in the morning. One guy had asthma and we ended up doing a transfer to a Natan. Literally the second we got back into the ambulance we got called back to the scene-- a firefighter had smoke inhalation-- because he had taken off his mask and given it to the asthma guy.
We also had an avtacha in Givat Ram. We got there-- the university knew nothing about it. Security took us to the stadium-- which was empty. Gal got in touch with the moked (dispatcher)-- the avtacha was cancelled. That was really it.
After that I got dropped off at Bayit Vagan and helped with studying until ~8, then I went home.
No one was home, so I went to the shul and was at this simchat bat thing for about an hour, then went home to get ready for the next day, then went to sleep.