Soldiers

It's the holiday season here, and I was watching the news this evening and a message from a local soldier came on-- he was from Long Island (I think) and he wished his family-- specifying the members-- a merry Christmas and said that he would see them soon.


Here, from NY, soldiers are in Penn Station. They're standing around with guns and vests and hats in twos or threes. They're sometimes on the subway, but that's one soldier going home (yes, there is Fort Hamilton in Brooklyn, but you don't constantly see soldiers in uniform or the like) or something. Sometimes you see some soldiers downtown walking around-- but again, rare. And you don't know someone is a soldier unless he/she is in uniform. Our wars (US) are fought overseas and soldiers/military are not something that is so much a part of our lives, unless you are or know a service member. Soldiers are usually far away from their families and may go a year or more without seeing their families.

In Israel, soldiers are a part of daily life. Every child knows a soldier or (especially in the ultra-Orthodox communities) at least has had multiple encounters with soldiers. You see them all the time on the buses, walking around in groups of five, ten, fifteen-- in or out of uniform. But you know they are soldiers. Israel's wars are fought close to home-- very close to home, as in within a few miles, just over a fence, or in your backyard. Israeli soldiers are not nearly as far as US soldiers and may go a month without seeing their family (lone soldiers being the exceptions-- and even then, they often have adopted families).

It's such a radical difference, how different the US soldiers and the Israeli soldiers and the whole mentalities and culture surrounding the military are. It's so much more ingrained in Israeli life, and your army (being used to mean all branches of the military) service defines you in so many ways. In Israel, what unit you served in defines you and later can influence your job options. It means you were smart enough/strong enough/could finagle your way best/etc. into such-and-such a position, and you will forever be defined by that to some degree. In the US, you served in the army (again, generalizing to all branches of the military)? Thank you very much, now continue on with your education/career. No one, or very few people, who does/do not have a military background or an interest in the military will care what you did in your service. It does not define you the same way as it does in Israel, and so you were in Operation ___________, or served during the ______ War-- thank you for your service to the country.

Ask me how many American soldiers (people my age roughly) I know.

Come on, take a guess.









Ok, two. And one of those is through the one other soldier I know. Ask me what they did? Not a clue. What unit? Uh...one that ended up in Iraq?

Next-- ask me the same question, but substitute "Israeli" for "American." -- Lauren, how many Israeli soldiers do you know?

Come on, take a guess








Ok, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten...I can go on. Oh, wait, I forgot some...I can still go on. Ask me what they did? I have at least a vague idea for most of them. What unit were they in? That I can tell you.

Reminder: I'm American, born and raised. The only soldiers that I know what they did are my grandfathers (side story: In third grade my grandfather came in to speak to my class about being a bomber (among other things) in WWII. He ended up having a whole side discussion with my third grade Hebrew teacher because they worked on the same kinds of planes in different armies.).

I wonder-- would I have gone into the army if I grew up in Israel?

packingness

1 packed...48.6 lbs (22.04 kgs). It contains:
1 garbage can (yes, a new, clean garbage can)
Tank tops
Underwear
Bras
Short sleeve shirts
PJs
Shabbos dresses
Bathing suits
An apron
Long sleeve shirts
Shabbos shirts
3/4 sleeve shirts
Sweatshirts (2)
Chovesh vest
Textbook: OT for Children

And, yes, for those of you who are wondering how I can make such sweeping generalizations ("long sleeve shirts" vs. item-by-item description)...don't worry, I have an itemized list too)

Think positive...1 down, and it's under the size and weight limits so I'm good.

Coming? Going? Leaving? Arriving? And where exactly is home?

I just watched the NBN "Come Back" video on YouTube ( click here for the video). I feel both excited and also sad/get teary...my aliyah has always been tempered with "but my family..." That was the reason, almost four years ago, when someone asked me if I was going to make aliyah I said no. I said I could see myself living in Israel for 2-3 years, but not permanently because my family and friends are here (US/NY).

I'm really torn about this because I don't want to leave them. It is so much easier to keep in touch than even 4 years ago, but still...there is a time difference and they're not right there. I usually call Andrea on my way home from work, as I'm walking home. Yeah...not going to work so much anymore because my walking home from work (if it's close enough, or even to/from the bus)-- she's going to be 7 hours behind me. So if it's 6 pm when I'm getting home, it's 11 am by her-- smack in the middle of her day. And Sara-- I'm on the phone with her all the time now...again, won't be able to. It's the spontaneity that I won't be able to have that I'll miss; I can't just decide, "Oh, by the way, can I come for Shabbos?"...because it will be a 12-hour plane ride, plus to and from the airport as opposed to an hour on the bus/train. That stuff is really going to suck. And answering the phone, "City morgue[, you kill 'em, we chill 'em]!" It's just...and Elissa I'm going to miss like crazy. I mean, we don't see each other for a week and we're nutty. What's going to happen after 6 months? Although, with her crazy architecture schedule, this just might work...hmmm...

I'm going to be a wreck at the airport. I wonder who's even coming to see me off? The calendar in the kitchen says, "L-JFK- 10 AM." It's so surreal. This is actually happening, I'm making aliyah.

But I get what Mom said about being lonely...because I will be lonely for my family and friends here. I will have-- I already have-- people there. Rita and Dov and their kids who are somewhere between parents and aunt-uncle and siblings and cousins. I have friends who I haven't seen in almost a year but am just as close with as when I left.
When I'm there I have a feeling of...rightness, like it just fits. And that's why I have to be there. I broke up with someone who, if not for the fact that I can't not be there and he can't be there, I could have married. Married for pete's sake!

I can't prepare myself for when the lonely moments are going to hit because I don't know when they will. Probably once I'm in ulpan and...settled more or less. I know I'm just going to want someone to hug me and tell me that yeah it sucks, but it gets better and tomorrow will be better and I can always call them (people in the States) or talk to them on the phone. And then just hug me and let me be miserable and lonely but just be there.



I know aliyah is the right thing for me. But why does it have to be so hard, even before I leave?

28 days

Hmmm...um...???????
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! ...maybe? Not really sure...

I have to have 2 suitcases packed by next Shabbos for Andrea and Yoni to take. I think that's going to make it more real-- you know, once I have something actually packed.

here comes them blues...

Really bad grammar, I know. Let's ignore it and move on.


I took the 2 home today because the 5 wasn't running between 149 and E180 (thanks, MTA. Love you, too), so I had to transfer at E180 for the 5. As I was waiting there, I was struck with a sense of sadness-- of leaving.

It's almost the beginning of December, but I count the weeks by Shabbatot-- this Shabbos I'm going to be here, next Shabbos I'm going to be there, the Shabbos after that...etc. And starting next Shabbos I'm going to be home until I leave for Israel.
This coming Shabbos is Lissa's bday; the Shabbos after that Andrea and Yoni (and Squishy) are coming, the week after that is the second Shabbos Chanukah and my parents want me home, and the Shabbos after that is my last Shabbos at home before I make aliyah.

I was at E180 and was sad...because I was leaving. Of course I'm going to be at E180 and on the subways over the next four weeks, and I'm sure that the 5 will not be running on weekends between 149 and E180, because this IS the MTA we are talking about/dealing with. But I am definitely going to miss the subway.

Told you this would hit me as it was getting closer. Welcome to my aliyah.

Thanksgiving

I spent a good part of my Thanksgiving Day putting aside stuff to take to Israel (see previous post). The evening before I had a Tweenties Thanksgiving with about 10 people which was so nice.

This past Shabbos was my last Shabbos in the Heights before I make aliyah. Kind of weird. I'll be back here, but not for Shabbos.

It's starting to come down to the "lasts"-- even though it's still a month away, it's starting to get into "last this," "last that" and I'm feeling it. I'm getting into "Will I need this for the next month?" and "What do I need until the summer?"

It's very weird-- packing up my life, 24 years of it. Technically-- but really, I've been cleaning out stuff every so often; most of my high school and college stuff I've gotten rid of. My OT stuff I've cleared out as well. Books...goodness, I don't even want to think about those...I have so many...I don't know how I'm going to decide what to take and what to leave here (at least until I ship stuff). And kitchen stuff! I cook! I bake! Am I going to be able to do this in ulpan?

I'm one of those people who had a blender (small), microwave, sandwich maker, toaster oven, cooking utensils, and service for 4 (dairy, meat, pareve) in her dorm. I am definitely going to be getting stuff when I move into Beit Canada. I have to remember to pack that stuff, too...

I have 5 suitcases:

1. Spring and summer clothes and shoes --> A & Y

2. Fall and winter clothes and shoes --> Me

3. Night stand (yes, "night stand"...it's coming now if it fits in the suitcase), clothing overflow --> Me

4. Dishes (box maybe) and random stuff--> A & Y

5. Books (box probably), random stuff, and non-crucial papers--> Me

Note to self: Pack the dishes with soft stuff too, like towels and clothes...
Note to self 2: Do you REALLY need all those shoes?

Someone remind me to make a packing list of what I'm putting in each suitcase because I forgot to do that to the one I left by Rita and Dov last winter.

Carry-On:

Bean and charger

American and Israeli cell phones and chargers, USB cable

Papers (originals-- NBN says bring original birth certificates, passports, diplomas, transcripts, as well as copies)

Clothes for the wedding (including shoes)

Extra change of clothes (including socks and underwear)

Toiletries: make-up, lenses, deodorant, mousse

Book or 2

Food. Yes, they feed you-- I'm bringing some of my mother's food.

packing-ness

just a bit of what's being set out to be packed...lots more to come as it happens...

...

34 days including today.

It's Thanksgiving. What will my next Thanksgiving be like? Hell, what will my New Year's be like?

When we were little, my sisters and I used to go to sleep on New Year's eve and then my parents would wake us up to watch the ball drop. We would all be piled in their bed and we'd count down to watch the ball drop. We haven't done that in a while, but...this New Year's is going to be...well...different.

Past few years it's been a Tweenties-ish New Year's, and the past 2 years the tradition has been a gingerbread house/village-- with guard dragons. This year we might have a gingerbread village-- maybe not-- but um...I don't know when we'd do it.

Usually we would make it and then eat it New Year's. I don't know this year...Anyone volunteer their apt. for gingerbread house making?

Leaving, part II

I emailed my letter of resignation to my supervisor and...mmmm...not feeling it.


I went in to see the assistant principal at one of my schools and he said to me, "I'm sad." I said, "Me too." He said, "You know, we got someone good in and you're leaving." I know, Dr. T, I know...

It's a great compliment-- I really feel like I'm actually valued in the school. It is a great thing to actually feel like you're a part of the school; in my previous school, the only reason I spoke to the AP or principal was to get something signed or if there was a problem. I have REAL CONVERSATIONS with the AP and principal at this school. I have been at this school for 3 months and I feel like a part of a family-- the atmosphere there is just...positive and really working for the kids. Not that everything is rosy and perfect-- there are problems and annoyances, but there is still a feeling of...well...family. Which is nice. And now that I know that feeling, it's going to be hard to work somewhere without it because I know how good it can be. But that's not what this blog is for.



I don't want to leave. I feel like I'm leaving in the middle, and...I know there's never going to be GOOD time to leave, not while there's so much here for me. But I also know that if I don't leave I'll always be wondering and wanting and regretting. I can come back and work as a contract therapist a year later, even if I don't get a waiver which would allow me to "appear before the DOE" less than one year after leaving. But I really hope I get the waiver. Will I necessarily get the same school? No. But one of the things about me is that wherever I am, I do my best. Look, I knew I was leaving. But I still am doing everything I need to, everything I would do if I was staying in the school for 25 years.

No matter what I do, I'm not going to be completely satisfied. There is always going to be some amount of "I wish I was there."



darn it.

Two down, two to go

Told the principal and assistant principal about leaving at the beginning of January. The principal was so excited for me that I'm going to be going to Israel, the AP less enthusiastic. But...I did it. Now on to my other school...Friday. I won't be there until then because I have a course tomorrow and Wednesday.

6 weeks and 2 days

um...right? I think it's starting to hit me and I don't know how I feel about it.

The November Aliyah Coffee Group meeting went VERY well, if I do say so myself. There were 8 people, which was really nice. Missed Dara and Vered, but it was a good meeting. I think everyone there was new besides me. A lot of info exchanged, resources listed to post. I think we should make a guide to aliyah. There are a lot, but this would be more of a Single's Guide to Aliyah: Here's What We Learned When We Made Aliyah.

What else? I don't know.

59 days

When you put it like that, it doesn't seem so long.

My mom called the people who deal with the headstones about my grandfather's headstone for the unveiling. She thought it would take about a month...and it'll take 3-4 months. This sucks. I'll be missing my grandfather's unveiling. When I said this to my mother she answered me, "I wasn't at my grandmother's funeral."
Me: Why?
Mom: I was going to Israel and Rabbi Bulka said I should go.
Me: Oh. But still...
Mom: That was a funeral. There's no halacha for an unveiling.


I know, but still...out of my sisters, I think I was the closest to my mom's parents. I think I'm the closest to my father's parents also. I'm not meaning to sound all "Wow, I'm so whatever" but I was the one who was always going over there, who helped them, who just...went and just goes. I know they like it and appreciate it, even just calling them if I can't get over there. I'm really not happy about missing this.

There's a lot of things I'm going to be missing. I don't like this game.

OT Updates

The Ministry of Health put out a pirsum (publication) about the OT exam. It will be given in Hebrew and Arabic (...). There is a list of sources, because the way the law was written, there has to be a definitive source for each answer. The reference list includes English textbooks, some Israeli OT articles (Hebrew, of course), and a law or two. The good news is that I have some of the textbooks. The ones I don't have I will look into getting (maybe, maybe not-- but at least I'm in America so they're not more expensive than their usual. And I can write them off on my taxes because it's for work-- I'm doing independent contracting anyway :) ) The pirsum also included four questions.

The downside of the pirsum is that it is in Hebrew and it takes me a lot longer than it should to read it. Hey, it's good that I can read it but it's very, very, VERY frustrating to me that it will take me 2-3 times longer to read something than if it was in English. And I'm constantly looking up words that I know in English! Half of the words are English, transliterated to Hebrew and...it's really, really frustrating.

I know that I'm not stupid and that I'm perfectly capable of being an OT-- but things like this, just the things you think you should be able to do and then aren't or doing and it takes you 2-3 times as long to do it...it's really demoralizing and not good for self-esteem. It's also not conducive to feeling at home and comfortable. I guess this is where it starts to get difficult, being an olah-in-process.

Packing up my life

I started putting stuff to take in one place. I have some new shirts and tank tops and underwear that I'm bringing. I also put some summer clothes with those things. I...it's weird.

Holy cow

As I sit at my computer at 11:45- no, wait, 46- pm, I realized that there are a lot of aliyah blogs out there. The four ones I've discovered in the past 20 minutes include (note: there are more...I limited it to the most recent four):

http://aliyahbyaccident.blogspot.com/
http://rakshniya.blogspot.com/
http://journeytoaliyah.wordpress.com
http://onetiredema.wordpress.com/

This is in about 20 minutes, just from one blog. How many blogs do you think I could find if I actually looked?

Does the world really need another aliyah blog? Does anyone read this? (notice how I've asked the last question probably about 3 times. And I have yet to get a single response on my blog. Not that that's a hint or anything.)

Maccabi Electra TA vs. The NY Knicks

Knicks beat Maccabi by 15 points. Not so bad.
What was interesting was that probably 80% of the crowd there was for cheering Maccabi...in New York.

I called one of my friends after the game and was telling him about it and said, "We lost." He says, "Who?" I said, "Maccabi."

We. That word strikes me. I am a New Yorker-- born, raised, and will be until the day I die. And a Bronxite-- Yankees, not Mets, because I am from the Bronx and the Yankees are the Bronx team. And yet, "we" was Maccabi, like I was Israeli. I'm not. I'm still a New Yorker but...I was rooting for Maccabi.

Item 532897504 that I will miss...

Flour that you don't have to sift. Sifting flour is annoying, especially whole wheat. And now that I think about it, rye flour. I bake a lot. Meh.

Vacuum Cleaners

I know that the way Israelis wash their floors is by sponja. I will get good at this; I have decided.

In the meantime, and for other reasons such as SpaceBags, I need a vacuum cleaner. Does anyone know where I can get one in Jerusalem, not crazy expensive (I don't need a Dyson, just one that works).

aliyah visa part II

Got it. My American passport now has a page that looks like an Israeli passport (I think. Either way, it's in Hebrew).

Ditto weird feeling.

aliyah visa

The Jewish Agency just called-- my passport came back from the consulate and has my aliyah visa in it.

That weird excited-but-dreadful feeling...